Tiger Rabbit

Poor Jackass

PokeBlunt

Pigeon on a UFO

Happy Lion Bad Trainer

Funny People

Funny Monkey

DOG in the Wind

Cat Earth Eating Mouse Moon

Angry Hands

Goat Getting Drunk

Funny Chicken at War

Isaac Asimov

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

David Friedman

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is
generally employed only by small children and large nations.

Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we
didn't.

F. P. Jones

Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you recognise a mistake
when you make it again.

Oscar Wilde

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Jane Wagner

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should
have been more specific. --

Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
it.

Benito Mussolini

Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day.

Richard Harkness

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

Franklin P. Jones

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.

Albert Einstein

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Arthur Block

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.

Mark Twain

To cease smoking is the easiest thing. I ought to know. I've done it a thousand times.

Oscar Wilde

I can resist everything except temptation.

Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Benjamin Franklin

There are three faithful friends—an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Oscar Wilde

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

William Shakespeare

Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.

Dylan Thomas

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Cordel Hull

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Proverb

A rich man's joke is always funny.

Billy Rose

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs painting.

Lao Tsu

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Socrates

My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Mae West

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.

Don Quinn

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.

Helen Rowland

A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

Socrates

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent.

Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

Benny Hill

Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

Brendan Gill

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

Alfred Adler

It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.

Shiny Eyes

Fail

NaJane Kis Baat Pe

NaJane Kis Baat Pe Uss Ne Mujhay Chhor diya Hai Faraz
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo Shakhs to Kisi ke 5 Rupe b nahi Chhorta…;-)

My Balance is insufficient

SHAIR ARZ Hai…..

My balance is Insufficient

for making this call ‘FARAZ’

Mennu easyload kerwa de mein nachan saari raat

BIJLI ane ke dua mangti hon

Raton ko uth ker
khayalon se ho ker
yadon me kho ker

Tumhe kya khabar hy
Me apne KHUDA se kiya mangti hon,

Viraano me ja kerDAMAN pehla ker
ANSON baha ker

Tumhe kiya khabar hai Me apne KHUDA se kiya mangti hon

tum to kaho ge kisi dil bur ki

Kisi DIL NASSHIN ki wafa mangti hon ,

Ye be galat hai
wo b ghlt hai

Me apne KHUDA se sirf BIJLI ane ke dua mangti hon

Main to Barson ka PYASA hoon ” FARAZ ”

Methi Methi Yadon ko Palko pay saja lena.

Sath Guzre Lamhon ko Dil may Basa lena

Main to Barson ka PYASA hoon ” FARAZ ”

BIJLI ajay to yaad se Motor chala dena

Faraz Funny Vitamin SmS

Ankon mein kuch nami thi
.
.
.
.
Mujh mein shayed Vitamin ke kami thi
.
.
.
.
Jis se saari raat phone pe baat ke FARAZ

Wo Kambakhat meri

Girl Friend ki Ammi thi

Uqaabi josh nojawano mein

Uqaabi josh Jab bedaar hota hai in nojawano mein
.
.
.
.
Le ker LUX ki Tikki ghuss jaate hai Ghusal khano mein.

Thanda Matlab COCA COLA

Hum un kay pyar men ban gay baraf ka gola

Wo bewafa boli thanda matlab coca cola

Lahore agar PYARA na hota,

Lahore agar pyara na hota,

college road ka nazaara na hota,

GPO chok per ishara na hota,

mall Road ka sahara na hota

Humara Lahore agar piyara na hota

Her roz mosam karara na hota

Fashion ny agar larkiyon ko bigaara na hota

To Lahore ka koi larka Awara na hota

Funny fair-lovely

Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

tera chehra khila khila

jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya

to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

Genetic Corn

Genetically altered corn looking at you!

Cat and Dog on a Tricycle

Cat, dog, and mice circus picture.

Squirrel drinking coca cola

Even the animals love to sip this drink.

Funny Bunny

Cool bunny with even cooler shades.Cool looking rabbit attracts ladies with his new shades.

Kitty drinks from shower

This is one cat that loves the shower, for all the wrong reasons.

Beware Of Cat Picture

Ahh, nobody bothered placing this sign.. it should say Beware of Cat,darnit... Meow!

Crazy Tree

Spooky looking tree. This one is good to scare the kids on Halloween.

Cat Makes Dog Blind

Hey, get your paws off my eyes.

Cat inside a bowl

Where did the fish go? I'm hungry!

Cat Opens Bottle

Cat trying to open a beer bottle.

Cat Tired

Man, I can never put that cap back on the remote control..

Socrates

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. -

Al Bundy

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back."

Paddy O'Dea

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. -

George W. Bush

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. -

George Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. -

Joey Adams

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." -

Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Mrs. White, (Clue 1985)

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. -

Henny Youngman

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -

Jerry Garcia

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. -

Homer Simpson

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -

Douglas Adams

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." -

Maryon Pearson

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -

Homer Simpson

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

Get & Lose

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Louis Hector Berlioz

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... -

Robert Bloch

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -

a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey

What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.

R Mosquitoes Religious?

r mosquitoes religious?

Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you

Eye Specialist!

When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me.

I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

Husband & Wife`s Love

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."

MilkShake

Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake?

A:) MilkShake

I Lost The Joker

sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker

The Lime Was Engaged.

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.

Network Problem

What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."

"Send me a Brother"

A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

Sign Post outside our Collage-

Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".

A Baby Monkey

A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!

3 Movie Tickets

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

BRUSH UR TEETH...!

Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

HUTCH DEALER....

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

Huge Eyes Cat

Cow Face.......

Petit Massage

Sniper Cat!

Like A Clown

I feel like a clown

thats why I’m so down

this is not any fun

because you weigh a ton.

I do not like you

because you are a piece of poo

Dolly Lolly

There once was a youg girl called Molly,

Her best Friend of course was a dolly,

She had a bad life,

As she was a wife,

To a fat man who called her Lolly!

Like Your Face

The sun is like your face

but its not a disgrace

so many people look up to it

and then they change their ways

and got eat macas with surprise

how many times did you see that sun

omg its an ugly one..

Jabberwocky - a poem by Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree.
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came wiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Cow Poem

Combination of Urdu & Punjabi

I love u.

I love u. Mujy tumse pyar ho gaya
hai... ;->














Eid ul Azha se pehly har janwar se mohabbat karna har musalman pe farz hai.
So keep loving animals =P

Cow Zibah Karni Hai

28 November ko Tum "Dil"
Mango HUM Denge,

Tum "Jigar" Mango
Wo Bhi Denge,

"Eyes" Mango
Wo Bhi Denge!

Q K

Us Din Humne

.

.
.

.

Cow Zibah Karni Hai. :-)
Happy Eid-ul-Azha.

Space koi Bhar Nahi Sakta

Ek ___ Aurat ___ ki Dukan Mai ___ Lene Gai ___ Wale ne

Usey ___ Dedi Phir ___ Aurat ___ lekar Chali gai.




Is Blank Space koi Bhar Nahi Sakta,

Kyun K.

Wo hai "CHEENI" :-)

Roshni Chand Se Hoti Hai

Roshni Chand Se Hoti Hai Sitaron Se Nahi.






Street Crimes Berozgaari Se Barhty Hani DOUBLE SAWARI Se Nahi. :-)

EID Ki Khushiyan Mubarak

Woh Janwaron Ki Khushbu,
Woh Gobar Ki Badbu,

Woh Sardi Main Mandi Jana,
Aur Janwaron K Sath Latak Kar Wapas Aana,

Woh Pinduon K Nakhray,
Aur Hamara Satana,

DIL Pasand K Bachhray,
Lasani Ki Bachhriyan,

Mubarak Ho Aapko EID Ki Khushiyan,
In Advance. :-)

Eid Pe SMS Packages

Ye Lo Advance
Eid Card For You

*|"""""""""""""|*
*| .+""+.+""+. |*
*| +  EID  +   |*
*|  "+. .+"    |*
*|     +       |*
*|   MUBARAK   |*
*|"""""""""""""|*

Kyon K Eid Pe SMS Packages Kaam Nahi Karengy. :-)

Eid-ul-Azha Mubarik

Bakra Debit
Cash Credit

Qurbani Debit
Gosht Credit

Qasai Debit
Khaal Credit

Aap Debit
Hum Credit

Eid Mubarik

Hamara Msg Debit
Aapka Reply Credit

Eid-ul-Azha Mubarik.

Kissing Deapth

Birds are also Like ICE-CREAM

NAUGHTY

Sad Winner

Best Cutting

True Friends

Costly Drinks

I Can Always Make U Smile

ATM Jammed because of …

Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed
&
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Sardar’s Wife Put Hair pin In Machine

When It Said”, Enter Ur PIN”

Independance Day Date

Bubbli got caugt on date
on Independance day
.
Major Rohail-
What is this?
.
Bubbli-
Dad today is freedom day,
so let me do what I want

Positive Thought

A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
.
.
.
Dad asked: “how did u feel?”
.
.
.
It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. evry1 ws clappin 4 me”

Moral: Take evrything positively

Desperate to Get Married

Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..

Homework

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?

Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Student & Teacher

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

Dirty Joke

A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?

B: Ok

A: A white horse fell in the mud.

I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Good News and Bad News.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Sweetest Excuse

Sweetest Excuse:A kid gets 0 mark in a paper.

Father angrily says what is this?

Kid replies:teacher ke pas STAR khatam ho gaye to

PLANET dene shuru kar diye..!

Formula for Water

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH : "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

10-foot SNAKE

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

Big Hands!

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other

what would I have?

CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

LOVE

LOVE

L=loss of money.

o=out of mind.

v=vaste of time.

e=end of life.

So don?t LOVE.

Only line maro?.

MISSED CALL Means

MISSED CALL Means -
"M"Ost
"I"Nnovative
"S"Tylish
"S"Till
"E"Ffecti Ve
"D"Evice

"C"Onveying
"A"Pnapan
"L"Ove and
"L"Oneliness

ELECTRICITY BILL.

When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from

Darkness.
Even after you pray,

if U R still in Darkness -

Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

Meaning of 'Study'

What is da true meaning of 'Study' ???
.
S. Sleeping
T. Talking
U. Unlimited tafreh
D. Dreaming
Y. Yawning

"School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."