NaJane Kis Baat Pe

NaJane Kis Baat Pe Uss Ne Mujhay Chhor diya Hai Faraz
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Wo Shakhs to Kisi ke 5 Rupe b nahi Chhorta…;-)

My Balance is insufficient

SHAIR ARZ Hai…..

My balance is Insufficient

for making this call ‘FARAZ’

Mennu easyload kerwa de mein nachan saari raat

BIJLI ane ke dua mangti hon

Raton ko uth ker
khayalon se ho ker
yadon me kho ker

Tumhe kya khabar hy
Me apne KHUDA se kiya mangti hon,

Viraano me ja kerDAMAN pehla ker
ANSON baha ker

Tumhe kiya khabar hai Me apne KHUDA se kiya mangti hon

tum to kaho ge kisi dil bur ki

Kisi DIL NASSHIN ki wafa mangti hon ,

Ye be galat hai
wo b ghlt hai

Me apne KHUDA se sirf BIJLI ane ke dua mangti hon

Main to Barson ka PYASA hoon ” FARAZ ”

Methi Methi Yadon ko Palko pay saja lena.

Sath Guzre Lamhon ko Dil may Basa lena

Main to Barson ka PYASA hoon ” FARAZ ”

BIJLI ajay to yaad se Motor chala dena

Faraz Funny Vitamin SmS

Ankon mein kuch nami thi
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Mujh mein shayed Vitamin ke kami thi
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Jis se saari raat phone pe baat ke FARAZ

Wo Kambakhat meri

Girl Friend ki Ammi thi

Uqaabi josh nojawano mein

Uqaabi josh Jab bedaar hota hai in nojawano mein
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Le ker LUX ki Tikki ghuss jaate hai Ghusal khano mein.

Thanda Matlab COCA COLA

Hum un kay pyar men ban gay baraf ka gola

Wo bewafa boli thanda matlab coca cola

Lahore agar PYARA na hota,

Lahore agar pyara na hota,

college road ka nazaara na hota,

GPO chok per ishara na hota,

mall Road ka sahara na hota

Humara Lahore agar piyara na hota

Her roz mosam karara na hota

Fashion ny agar larkiyon ko bigaara na hota

To Lahore ka koi larka Awara na hota

Funny fair-lovely

Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

tera chehra khila khila

jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya

to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

Genetic Corn

Genetically altered corn looking at you!

Cat and Dog on a Tricycle

Cat, dog, and mice circus picture.

Squirrel drinking coca cola

Even the animals love to sip this drink.

Funny Bunny

Cool bunny with even cooler shades.Cool looking rabbit attracts ladies with his new shades.

Kitty drinks from shower

This is one cat that loves the shower, for all the wrong reasons.

Beware Of Cat Picture

Ahh, nobody bothered placing this sign.. it should say Beware of Cat,darnit... Meow!

Crazy Tree

Spooky looking tree. This one is good to scare the kids on Halloween.

Cat Makes Dog Blind

Hey, get your paws off my eyes.

Cat inside a bowl

Where did the fish go? I'm hungry!

Cat Opens Bottle

Cat trying to open a beer bottle.

Cat Tired

Man, I can never put that cap back on the remote control..

Socrates

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. -

Al Bundy

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back."

Paddy O'Dea

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor. -

George W. Bush

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. -

George Bush

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. -

Joey Adams

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." -

Lily Tomlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Mrs. White, (Clue 1985)

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable. -

Henny Youngman

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. -

Jerry Garcia

Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil. -

Homer Simpson

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -

Douglas Adams

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." -

Maryon Pearson

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -

Homer Simpson

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. -

Get & Lose

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Louis Hector Berlioz

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... -

Robert Bloch

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. -

a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey

What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.

R Mosquitoes Religious?

r mosquitoes religious?

Yes They first sing over u & then prey on you

Eye Specialist!

When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me.

I will be there to take you to an eye specialist!

Husband & Wife`s Love

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."

MilkShake

Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake?

A:) MilkShake

I Lost The Joker

sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r playing a cards and I lost the joker

The Lime Was Engaged.

Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.

Network Problem

What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."

"Send me a Brother"

A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".

Sign Post outside our Collage-

Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".

A Baby Monkey

A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!

3 Movie Tickets

Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

BRUSH UR TEETH...!

Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!

HUTCH DEALER....

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

Huge Eyes Cat

Cow Face.......

Petit Massage

Sniper Cat!

Like A Clown

I feel like a clown

thats why I’m so down

this is not any fun

because you weigh a ton.

I do not like you

because you are a piece of poo

Dolly Lolly

There once was a youg girl called Molly,

Her best Friend of course was a dolly,

She had a bad life,

As she was a wife,

To a fat man who called her Lolly!

Like Your Face

The sun is like your face

but its not a disgrace

so many people look up to it

and then they change their ways

and got eat macas with surprise

how many times did you see that sun

omg its an ugly one..

Jabberwocky - a poem by Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree.
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came wiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Cow Poem

Combination of Urdu & Punjabi

I love u.

I love u. Mujy tumse pyar ho gaya
hai... ;->














Eid ul Azha se pehly har janwar se mohabbat karna har musalman pe farz hai.
So keep loving animals =P

Cow Zibah Karni Hai

28 November ko Tum "Dil"
Mango HUM Denge,

Tum "Jigar" Mango
Wo Bhi Denge,

"Eyes" Mango
Wo Bhi Denge!

Q K

Us Din Humne

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Cow Zibah Karni Hai. :-)
Happy Eid-ul-Azha.

Space koi Bhar Nahi Sakta

Ek ___ Aurat ___ ki Dukan Mai ___ Lene Gai ___ Wale ne

Usey ___ Dedi Phir ___ Aurat ___ lekar Chali gai.




Is Blank Space koi Bhar Nahi Sakta,

Kyun K.

Wo hai "CHEENI" :-)

Roshni Chand Se Hoti Hai

Roshni Chand Se Hoti Hai Sitaron Se Nahi.






Street Crimes Berozgaari Se Barhty Hani DOUBLE SAWARI Se Nahi. :-)

EID Ki Khushiyan Mubarak

Woh Janwaron Ki Khushbu,
Woh Gobar Ki Badbu,

Woh Sardi Main Mandi Jana,
Aur Janwaron K Sath Latak Kar Wapas Aana,

Woh Pinduon K Nakhray,
Aur Hamara Satana,

DIL Pasand K Bachhray,
Lasani Ki Bachhriyan,

Mubarak Ho Aapko EID Ki Khushiyan,
In Advance. :-)

Eid Pe SMS Packages

Ye Lo Advance
Eid Card For You

*|"""""""""""""|*
*| .+""+.+""+. |*
*| +  EID  +   |*
*|  "+. .+"    |*
*|     +       |*
*|   MUBARAK   |*
*|"""""""""""""|*

Kyon K Eid Pe SMS Packages Kaam Nahi Karengy. :-)

Eid-ul-Azha Mubarik

Bakra Debit
Cash Credit

Qurbani Debit
Gosht Credit

Qasai Debit
Khaal Credit

Aap Debit
Hum Credit

Eid Mubarik

Hamara Msg Debit
Aapka Reply Credit

Eid-ul-Azha Mubarik.

Kissing Deapth

Birds are also Like ICE-CREAM

NAUGHTY

Sad Winner

Best Cutting

True Friends

Costly Drinks

I Can Always Make U Smile

ATM Jammed because of …

Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed
&
Not In Working Condition
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Because
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Sardar’s Wife Put Hair pin In Machine

When It Said”, Enter Ur PIN”

Independance Day Date

Bubbli got caugt on date
on Independance day
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Major Rohail-
What is this?
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Bubbli-
Dad today is freedom day,
so let me do what I want

Positive Thought

A baby mosquito came back after its 1st fight.
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Dad asked: “how did u feel?”
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It replied: “Dad it was wonderful. evry1 ws clappin 4 me”

Moral: Take evrything positively

Desperate to Get Married

Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..

Homework

Teacher: Did you father help your with your homework?

Student: No, he did it all by himself.

Student & Teacher

Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?

Student: I don't know.

Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?

Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.

Dirty Joke

A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?

B: Ok

A: A white horse fell in the mud.

I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

Student: I is the....

Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Good News and Bad News.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

Sweetest Excuse

Sweetest Excuse:A kid gets 0 mark in a paper.

Father angrily says what is this?

Kid replies:teacher ke pas STAR khatam ho gaye to

PLANET dene shuru kar diye..!

Formula for Water

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH : "HIJKLMNO"!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O!

10-foot SNAKE

TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.

SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

Big Hands!

TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other

what would I have?

CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!

LOVE

LOVE

L=loss of money.

o=out of mind.

v=vaste of time.

e=end of life.

So don?t LOVE.

Only line maro?.

MISSED CALL Means

MISSED CALL Means -
"M"Ost
"I"Nnovative
"S"Tylish
"S"Till
"E"Ffecti Ve
"D"Evice

"C"Onveying
"A"Pnapan
"L"Ove and
"L"Oneliness

ELECTRICITY BILL.

When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from

Darkness.
Even after you pray,

if U R still in Darkness -

Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

Meaning of 'Study'

What is da true meaning of 'Study' ???
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S. Sleeping
T. Talking
U. Unlimited tafreh
D. Dreaming
Y. Yawning

"School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign?

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

BEST Question

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

Kidnapping

A blonde is out of money and (after buying air at a real bargain) needed money desperately. To get some cash, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom just like in Hollywood movies.

She went to a playground, grabbed a kid randomly, and told the kid, “I’ve kidnapped you.” She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a bag and leave it under the mango tree next to the playground. Signed, A naughty blonde.”

The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree.

The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”

American Newspaper

A man is out walking in New York city when he sees a little girl being chased by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by hitting the dog’s head with a stick and saves the girl’s life.

The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you so much for saving my little girl. You are a true hero. Tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about ‘Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl’”

“But I’m not a New Yorker,” the man says.

“Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl,” says the mother.

“But I’m not an American neither,” the man says.

“So, what are you then?” asks the mother.

“I’m an Iranian,” the man replied politely.

The next day he sees the newspaper headlines:

“Islamic Extremist Kills American Dog.”

Handle My Load

Rabbit - at - Work

Always keep Smiling

MAP OF THE WORLD

MS DEVELOPMENT TEAM

A BIG COCK!

WET CAT

Mice in A Space Project

I Can Explain!

DRUNK CAT

Deer Revenge

Cat and Mouse

it’s made only for SEL’FISH”

A baby fish asked her mother,


“Why cant we live on earth..?”


Mother fish, Replied

“My dear baby Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made only
for SEL’FISH”

Garaham bell

Son: abu bacha ziada intelegent hota hi ya baap?

Father: baap

son: abu telephone kis ne bnaya?

Father: Garaham bell ne.

Son: us k baap ne kyun nai bnaya?

Luk A Thief Has Enterd Our Kitchen

Wyf : Luk A Thief Has Enterd Our Kitchen


N He Is Eating D Cake Prepard By Me


Husband: Whom Shud I Cal


Now Police Or Ambulance..

munna itni dair se ro raha hai

Bivi shohar se

”munna itni dair se ro raha hai magar tumhain fursat nahi kae isay thoori dair kae liye goud mein otha lo.akhir mein esay jhaiz mein to nahi laai thi”

shohar bhi ghusay se:

tum to aisy keh rahi ho jaisay mein easy apna barati bana kar laya tha.

Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha

Jab se begum ne mujhe murgha bana rakha hai,

Main ne nazron ki tarhan sir bhi jhuka rakha hai,

Bartano: aaj mere sir pe baraste q ho,

Main ne dho dha k tumhain kitna saja rakha hai,

Roz leti he talashi wo police ki manind,

Pochti he kahan paison ko chupa rakha hai,

Wohi dunya main muqaddar ka sikandar tehra,

Jis ne khud ko yahan shadi se bacha rakha hai,

Pi ja is maar ki talkhi ko bhi hans k shohar,

Maar khane main bhi Qudrat ne maza rakha hai..!

Translate This Punjabi Sentence Into English

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Teacher:

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Translate This Punjabi Sentence Into English

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Othay Te Anni Pei Hoi Hay.

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Student:

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“A Blind Girl Is Lying There!

Ek bewafa ko na aaya hamari

Arz kiya hai…


ek bewafa ko na aaya hamari wafa ka yaqeen…


hum ne kaha hum mar jayen ge aur usne kaha….aameen

Ishq me JazbAt ko khudkAshi

IshQ me JazbAt ko khudkAshi kArni pAri

Panchiyon ko Par JaLa k Roshni kArni pAri

1 Larki ki BewAFAi ko bhuLAne k liye

Jane KiTni Larkiyo se Dosti kArni pAri

Jab sy ghar main UPS lagvaya hai

Chand or sitaron ny hartal kar di…

Elecricite b behal kar di…


Jab sy ghar main UPS lagvaya hai

Hamari jebain is ny kangal kar den…

The new mother says, “I forgot where I put it

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, “Not yet.”


A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, “Not yet.”


Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?”

And the mother says, “When the baby cries.”

So they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?”


The new mother says, “I forgot where I put it.”

"Seatbelt Fail"

"Baby Biker"

"What Do You Want?"

"I Hate Sandcastles"

"Tasty!"

"Good Parents"

"Baby Tape"

"Baby Universe"

"Friends!"